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The Forbidden Fruit

  • CLIENT:

    Hey, just one final question before I send the deposit. Do you use a PC or a MAC?

  • ME:

    I use a MAC.

  • CLIENT:

    That is a problem. Do you have access to a PC? I am not a supporter of Apple products.

  • ME:

    No, I don’t have access to a PC, but this will have little to no effect on the work itself.

  • CLIENT:

    I am a Christian and Apple products are sinful, I do not want our website to be created by a product made by this corrupt group. You need only look at their logo, an apple with a bite taken from it. Do you not know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? If I allowed you to create my website on a MAC I would be just like Adam, taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.

  • [Silence]

  • “Take my advise, destroy your mac and repent for when judgement day comes. It shall be you who is cast to hell for your sins.”

  • Me:

    [Block Contact]

  • I worked in a call center for a well known cable/broadband provider when an older woman calls about her TV not working properly.

  • CLIENT:

    “I cannot get a picture on my TV.”

  • ME:

    “Is it just black, or are there some numbers or text on the screen?”

  • CLIENT:

    “No picture, but I can see the clock telling me what time it is.”

  • ME:

    “Ok, there should be some buttons on the side where you can change the channel or input. Do you see those buttons?”

  • CLIENT:

    “I don’t see anything about channel, but there are buttons.”

  • ME:

    “What buttons do you see?”

  • CLIENT:

    “Well, I see Time, Start/Stop and Defrost…”

  • ME:

    “Ma’am, are you looking at your microwave?”

  • CLIENT:

    “…Oh dear. I hope not.”

You want some insight into the work of a freelance video editor? Really?

  • Client:

    "We've got this video and we need someone who can put music in that video. Can you do that?"

  • Me:

    "Should be not a big deal. What kind of music?"

  • Client:

    "I've got this CD."

  • Me:

    "You do own the rights, don't you?

  • Client:

    "Which rights? The rights to the music? No. But we will not publish the video. It's just for internal use. Can you do that? I'll take all of the risk."

  • Me:

    "Yes, I can."

  • The video was some sort of "Power-Point-Presentation". Not the presentation, but a video. They didn't have the original presentation anymore. I put the music in the video.

  • Client:

    "Great work! But can you add two more charts to the video?"

  • Me:

    "Yes, of course. Do you have the charts?"

  • Client:

    "No, but I send you the text"

  • So I built two more charts and put them in the video.

  • Client:

    "Great work! Perfect! But can you slow down some of the texts in the video. It's too fast some times. But don't change the lenght of the video. The music fits perfectly. The rhythm should stay the same. And can you add another piece of music."

  • Me:

    "I thought you said, I shouldn't change the music."

  • Client:

    "Just fade out at 5 minutes and then add the other music."

  • Me:

    "Which music? Is it on the CD?"

  • Client:

    "No, just use song XY. You'll find it on Youtube."

  • So I changed the music after the client told me again, he would take all of the legal risks. Then I slowed down some of the texts (had to speed up some others to be able to do that).

  • Client:

    "Perfect! Great work! But I realized, we had some misspellings in the video. Can you correct these?"

  • Me:

    "I can't change misspellings in a video. Unless you give me the original presentation"

  • Client:

    "We don't have it. Just change it."

  • So I exported the frames, rebuilt them in Photoshop and put the corrected ones in again.

  • Client:

    "Perfect! Absolutely perfect. Do you have any idea, how we'd be able to publish the video on the internet?"

  • Me:

    "You could upload them to Youtube, but I thought the video is for internal use only?"

  • Client:

    "Yes, but now we want it to be published."

  • Me:

    "You are aware, that you don't own the rights to the music?"

  • Client:

    "What can happen?"

  • Me:

    "You could get sued."

  • Client:

    "Then we have to change the music."

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